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Avoid label headlines

Don’t just slap the topic on top of the story

Note to self: “Label headline” is not a headline.

Avoid label headlines
Warning: label Label headlines communicate the topic — but nothing else — about the story. Image by Heather

Label headlines like Label headlines carry a double problem. They skip the verb, so they suck the action out of your headline. And they don’t say anything about the topic.

Yet the most common type of headline I review as a writing coach is — by far! — a label headline. I’m convinced that most corporate communications, marketing and content marketing headlines are label headlines.

What’s a label headline?

Label heads are those that identify the topic but that don’t say anything about it. They are nouns or noun phrases without verbs.

Here, for example, are a few of the label heads that have crossed my desk lately:

Chemical update
Manager’s letter
Field distribution
Graphics systems
Strategy Statement

And … drum roll, please: The worst label head I’ve ever seen was on a sales letter encouraging me to increase the size of a directory ad. The headline:

Sales Letter

Why avoid label headlines?

Why avoid headlines like Sales Letter when your headline tops, say, a sales letter?

With label headlines, you:

  1. Miss the chance to communicate. Headlines get twice the attention of text. They change the way we think. “Readers” might not read anything else. If your headline says nothing, you’ve missed your best opportunity to reach and sway the huge and growing percentage of your audience who just read the display copy.
  2. Make your story dull and boring. While some readers get all of their information from the display copy, others use headlines to decide whether to read. If your headline says Strategy statement, I can almost assure you that readers will choose not to dive in.
  3. Sap the energy from your story. Without verbs, your story has no action. Without verbs, there are no benefits. Readers can’t see what they could do differently with your product, service, program or idea.

How to fix label headlines

How can you fix label headlines?

  1. Say something about the topic. If you find yourself writing “headlines” like “Graphic systems,” ask yourself “Graphic systems what?” Or “What about Graphic systems?” Are we for them? Against them? Should I get one if I don’t have one? Should I get rid of one if I do?
  2. Add a verb. “A story is a verb, not a noun,” writes one of the former editors of The New York Times. That means that something essential is missing from a label head. Unless you’re writing a feature headline, use a dynamic verb in every headline. Bonus points for putting that verb in present tense.
  3. Develop creative standing heads. You may want to use a label for the name of a recurring column or department. But surely, given all your talent and education, you can come up with something better than “Bulletins” or “Manager’s Letter.”

I’d like to buy a verb, please.

So instead of:

Charity Collection for Geneva and Africa

Write:

Help African orphans, vulnerable children, Manchester’s poor
Donate to XYZ’s autumn charity collection Oct. 15-31

Instead of:

HPV and throat cancer

Write:

HPV virus? You could be at risk for throat cancer
Get a free screening, answers to your questions, on April 16

Instead of:

Weather Update

Write:

Work from home tomorrow!
Please stay safe and warm during Detroit’s snow emergency, parking ban

See what a difference a verb makes? Stop labeling the topic of your blog post, article or content marketing piece. Start using your headline to actually say something about your story.

 

Heads up: Here’s headline help!

Want more tips and techniques for writing better headlines, callouts, captions and other display copy?

Catch Your Readers — a two-day persuasive-writing workshop, on April 10-11 in Charleston
If so, please join me at Catch Your Readers — our two-day persuasive-writing workshop on April 10-11 in Charleston.

There, you’ll learn to how to use headlines and other display copy to put your messages where your readers’ eyes really are. You’ll leave with the skills you need to write compelling headlines that get the word out to “readers” who spend as little as 10 seconds with your piece.

Until Jan. 31 only, get nearly $300 worth of learning tools free with a Silver or Gold ticket.

Register now.

Book an in-house
writing workshop.

“I have been a journalist for 30 years, published more than 10,000 times, and I have learned more about writing in the past two days from Ann than I have in all that time. I so needed this!”
— Jim Masters, internal communications specialist, Accenture

 

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June 30, 2022

Master the Art of Storytelling - Ann Wylie's creative-content workshop on July 11-15

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