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Strathcona County embraces the feature-style story structure

Too many communicators have married the inverted pyramid and made a lot of triangular babies. Problem is, the traditional news structure doesn’t work well with humans.

But in Alberta, communicators are starting to flirt with other structures. After attending one of my Beyond the Inverted Pyramid workshops, Elizabeth Tadman-Kickham, communications & marketing specialist at Strathcona County, rewrote a news story into a feature. Here’s the result:

Strathcona County makes over a traditional news story

ElementApproachBefore: NewsAfter: Feature
Introduction
Lead
  • Show instead of tell for a feature lead.
  • Grab reader attention with a lead that’s concrete, creative and provocative.
  • Use human interest or other approaches you can steal from fiction writers.
  • Keep it short: Aim for 25 words or less.
The 2014 Canada 55+ Games are coming to Strathcona County, Alberta this summer from August 27 to 30. The Canada 55+ Games is a nation wide program that promotes spiritual, mental and physical wellness among Canadians 55 years of age and older. Not just your average sporting event, the Canada 55+ Games features competition in 24 different sports and events ranging from swimming and hockey to scrabble and bocce.Florence Storch is a 101-year-old Alberta woman with a unique hobby and a lofty goal. A javelin thrower, Florence has her sights set on winning a gold medal at the 2014 Canada 55+ Games.
Nut graph
  • After getting readers’ attention with a shiny object in the lead, tell them where you’re taking them in the nut graph.
  • Summarize your key message in a sentence or two.
  • Let readers know what’s in it for them.
This summer, Florence and 2000 other competitors from across Canada will have their chance at gold right here in Strathcona County, and you can come cheer them on.
Background section
  • Give reader context before diving into the meat of the story. In this case, you’ll define the program, in a sentence or two.
  • Don’t lead with the background. We also call background the blah-blah-blah. So avoid the mistake too many people (including Elizabeth, in her first draft) make of placing the background in the lead.
  • Craft carefully. I love the last line here, but I’d like to push it further by using wordplay and landing on the funny word. Maybe “from hockey to bocce and swimming to scrabble.”
The Canada 55+ Games is a nation-wide program that promotes spiritual, mental and physical wellness among Canadians 55 years of age and older. Not just your average sporting event, the Games features competition in 24 different sports and events ranging from swimming and hockey to scrabble and bocce.
Body
BodyHere’s where you tell ’em what you’re going to tell ’em. The brisker, the better.
I like the way Elizabeth got the readers into the story by inviting them to the games instead of just informing readers about the event.		With 2000 participants from across the country, 300 of their family members and 550 volunteers registered, the 2014 Games are set to be the largest Canada 55+ Games in the program’s 18-year history! The Games are truly a four-day celebration of sport, culture and social well being and feature a number of free events that are open to the public including:

Opening Ceremonies Fireworks — weather permitting

  • Wednesday, August 27 at 10 p.m.
  • Public viewing at the Kinsmen Leisure Centre
  • 2001 Oak Street, Sherwood Park.

55+ Health & Wellness Expo

  • Thursday, August 28 from noon to 8 p.m.
  • Millennium Place
  • 2000 Premier Way, Sherwood Park

Ardrossan Mini Art Market — weather permitting

  • Thursday, August 28 from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m.
  • Ardrossan Recreation Complex
  • 80-1 Avenue, Ardrossan

Art: Objet de Sport, an exhibit celebrating Canadian and Olympic sport and recreation.

  • On until September 6, 2014.
  • Gallery@501
  • #120, 501 Festival Avenue
The 2014 Games will be held in Strathcona County from August 27 to 30 and are set to be the largest Canada 55+ Games in the program’s eighteen-year history. Come out, be inspired, and enjoy the festivities including:

  • August 27 — Opening Ceremonies Fireworks at Broadmoor Lake Park
  • August 28 — 55+ Health & Wellness Expo at Millennium Place
  • August 28 — Ardrossan Mini Art Market at Ardrossan Recreation Complex
  • July 10 to September 6 — Art: Objet de Sport at Gallery@501
Conclusion
WrapupTell ’em what you told ’em in this one- to two-sentence paragraph.

Tip: Copy your nut graph, paste it into the conclusion and massage for a great, low-work wrapup.

Come cheer on the nation from August 27 to 30 in Strathcona County! For more information on the events listed above and the full Games sport and activity competition schedule, visit our Website or call 780-467-2211.You can find sport schedules, cultural events and volunteer opportunities for the 2014 Canada 55+ Games by visiting our Website or calling 780-467-2211.
KickerThe great thing about inverted pyramids is you just stop typing. Features require an ending. To leave a lasting impression, go with something that’s concrete, creative and provocative.

I might add a detail or two to this kicker to make it more concrete. Maybe something like “Come join 2,000 participants from across the country — the oldest of whom is XX” before Elizabeth’s ending.

Don’t let their age fool you; the competitors in these Games are here to win!

So which of these stories would you rather read? And how can you use the feature-style story structure in your next piece?

Next steps: Build a solid structure

Want to master a story structure that increases readership instead of cutting it short?