Bring stories to life with human interest
Stories about organizational programs, policies and procedures can kill reader interest. But bring those stories to life through people, and you can resurrect attention, too.
That’s what graduates of our most recent Master the Art of the Storyteller Master Class did with these before-and-after leads about HR programs.
Let people stand for awards program nominations.
When Mollye Harper wanted to invite employees to nominate colleagues for her organization’s awards program, she could have used a conventional, abstract lead. But the communications specialist at Service Corporation International swapped it out for a compelling human-interest starter instead:
| Before | After |
| Do your associates consistently provide extraordinary service, deliver superior results and develop lasting relationships with our customers, communities and colleagues? The Living the Brand program is back for 2015 and now is the time to recognize them! As the Company’s premier awards program, Living the Brand celebrates exceptional associates who demonstrate unwavering commitment to our core values of integrity, respect, service excellence and enduring relationships. Each year, our top five finalists receive $500, an all-expense paid trip to the home office with one guest, an award reception dinner with senior leadership, a Houston tour, recognition throughout the entire company and more! And as an added bonus, our overall winner receives an additional $500! | When Cemetery Superintendent Alfredo Colon witnessed an elderly woman furiously pulling dollar weeds as she hunched over her late husband’s grave in the 100 degree heat, he quickly hopped off of his Kubota cart to offer a hand. Observing the tiny droplets of sweat mixed with salty tears run down her face, Alfredo ushered the woman to the air conditioned lobby, offered her a chilled glass of water, and assured her he would take care of the space. When the woman returned to the graveside, she was elated to find the entire area had been re-sodded with lush Bermuda grass and the full-marble ledger had been restored to its original luster. From the kindness Alfredo displayed, to the office manager who delivers hand-crafted cards to client families on the first anniversary without their loved one, to the IT specialist who hustles out of the grocery store at 10 p.m. on a Saturday to restore cell phone service for a colleague, associates throughout the company are exceeding expectations and deserve to be recognized. The Living the Brand program is back and now is the time to recognize your outstanding associates! |
Let people stand for awards program winners.
Teresa Day, senior writer at Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Louisiana, brought her employee awards program to life with people, too. She turned “Ten more names” into a living, breathing winner in this rewrite:
| Before | After |
| Ten more names have been added to the list of outstanding volunteers for children in Louisiana with the selection of this year’s winners of the Angel Award presented by the Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Louisiana Foundation. The award is given annually to those who donate their time and talents to better the lives of Louisiana children, whether through enrichment projects in the areas of arts and education or programs addressing the direst needs of an underserved population. | Ashley Belding got tired of seeing her patients’ faces fall at the words, “It’s too dangerous for you.” Ashley’s patients are children with asthma, cystic fibrosis, have tracheotomies or are on ventilators. They watch their friends do many things they can’t, one of which is go to summer camp, outside the hospital, away from the constant ding of machines and worried glances of parents. So 20 years ago, she began spending her free time volunteering and fundraising for Camp Pelican, a weeklong resident camp for children who have health problems like her patients. That is why Ashley is what the Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Louisiana Foundation calls an Angel. Ashley will join nine other volunteers for Louisiana children as this year’s Angel Award recipients. |
Let people stand for HR programs.
When Harper wanted to promote Service Corporation International’s tuition assistance program, she could have blah-blahed about the program itself. Instead, she showed instead of told with the story of one employee who’s using the program:
| Before | After |
| Want to get to the next step in your career by strengthening your skills and growing professionally? Continue your path to success with SCI’s tuition assistance program. The Company reimburses you for education expenses up to $4,000 annually at accredited colleges, universities, technical institutes and mortuary schools. “The program helps offset the financial strain of education and makes going back to school affordable,” says Josh Hite, funeral director/embalmer, McPeters’ Funeral Directors, Houston. After earning a degree in Applied Science from Commonwealth Institute, Josh was offered additional responsibilities and the ability to work at multiple locations, without the burden of high student loans. | In two years, Michelle Moses went from managing urn vendors to managing the Direct Procurement department and received $8,000 in the process. With the help of the Company’s tuition assistance program, Michelle made the difficult decision to return to school to earn her MBA get to the next step in her career. You too can continue your path to success with SCI’s tuition assistance program. The Company reimburses you for education expenses up to $4,000 annually at accredited colleges, universities, technical institutes and mortuary schools. |
Programs are dreary; people are fascinating. Why not let people stand for programs in your next piece?
Take Your Story From ‘Meh’ to Masterpiece
In the crunch of writing headlines and meeting deadlines, it sometimes seems as if there’s not enough time to pause and consider how you’re doing.
But at Make Your Copy More Creative — a two-day creative writing master class on Feb. 23-24 in Phoenix — you’ll get a chance to write and rewrite, get and give feedback, and leave with a totally rewritten piece. In these practice sessions, you’ll:
- Grab Attention With Feature Stories: Craft creative leads and kickers
- Make Your Copy More Colorful: Engage readers with fun facts, juicy details
- Play With Your Words: Spice up your headlines, leads and sound bites with wordplay
- Master the Art of the Storyteller: Tap ‘the most powerful form of human communication’
- Add Meaning With Metaphor Clarify complex concepts with analogies
Browse all upcoming Master Classes.
Would you like to hold an in-house Make Your Copy More Creative workshop? Contact Ann directly.